Malicious Bug Devours Writer’s Memories!

Disaster struck earlier today in a quiet South Shields flat as a young aspiring writer was subject to what can only be described as an unthinkable incident. After a high precision military operation went horribly wrong, “The Mallen Streak” blogger lost 3 weeks of notes from his mobile phone. Now suffering from temporary amnesia, his memories are slowly returning as he begins to write once more in an attempt to salvage some of his absent thoughts and ideas.

After countless months of being lazy and not hunting down the installation disk for his mobile phone/PDA, he finally decided to install it and backup his junk. Having installed the program a couple of days ago, today was going to be the routine, mundane and simple task of plugging his phone in to the USB BBQ-C3PO-type thingy mebob and everything else would take care of itself. So far, so simple. Alas finally everything is backed up and not just his files but his contacts, calendar and tasks too. The task system is imperative to his well-being and serves as his to-do list in addition to his mini diary of anything from brief thoughts and ideas to the beginning of far-from-award-winning sketches. Unfortunately that’s all it serves as, he still has to make his own coffee.

Without even thinking, he casually opens Outlook to begin viewing tasks much to his relief that everything is safe and sound as it should be. The first viewing was to be last month’s compilation. As he perused the content, he made a couple of minor changes, removed a large section of blank text and hit the save and close button. Simple. As it turned out, it was too simple. As you probably already guessed, a message was sent down to Houston about there being a problem. There was an error message about trunks or something, that was basically saying to him “You’re screwed pal, I deleted half your writing just for a laugh”. Well, you can imagine he wasn’t amused by its satanic sense of humour.

He decided to do what most writers would probably do in a situation like this. He moaned and cursed for a couple of hours, trying to contain his unbearable dismay and anger at losing work before generally accepting the fate of the last three weeks of notes. Then he sat down and began to write, expressing his pain and anguish of losing so many words, thoughts and memories that he will try his best to recapture. People often use words frivolously, without meaning or sense of purpose, but for a writer they are the essence of life and creativity. OK so that may sound a little over-dramatic but I’m sure you get the point.

In the immortal words of, erm, Boyzone, of all people, ‘it’s only words’…there’s always more words waiting around the corner, you just have to know the right part of pavement to trip over to find them…

The Write Stuff or the WoW Factor?

I didn’t feel like writing this evening. My troubled mind was fraught with worry of my present situation and of anticipation of the uncertain future that faces me. Presently the time seems to dissolve with each tick of my wall clock, like an aspirin into a half empty glass of water. The nights are becoming lonelier again as the movies finish sooner and the silence dawns earlier. There is always the possibility of course of engaging in another movie. There is always another movie. Similarly I could endure some light hearted music to pierce the din inside my quiet, somewhat contrived, little box. While both are worthy adversaries against the silence, they fall short of excuses when trying to detach me from the solemn mood that often relentlessly captivates me.

I’ve been strong willed today by fighting temptations of detrimental actions and not giving in as I would have previously done. After successfully juggling a couple of bills this month I found myself in a position today, to renew my subscription for World of Warcraft for September if I really desired it. It’s been one and a half weeks since I last played and have survived two consecutive weekends without it. In my mind I’d suggested maybe I could reward myself if I completed a few more tasks I had on my paperless list, though in truth, if I was able to play then it would probably consume all of my time. During the last week of August when my subscription was drawing to a close, my attention to the game was already waning and it’s typical of human nature to want something just because it’s not there and so true that ‘you don’t miss it until it’s gone’.

Having the luxury of WoW would be detrimental to my writing too because the interaction with friends in the online world would partly alleviate the silence and would consume my attention completely and without prejudice. This is a big reason for me not to re-join that world. Many times have I been through that gate and I know what lies beyond those monstrously towering imaginary walls of doom. Maybe I’d survive a few more weeks of addiction before the boredom once again threatens my weakened mind into submission. I feel it would be a great risk, in my present disposition, to undertake the challenge to discipline and condition myself to play the game in only short quantities, restricted to certain times of the day and not consistently for several hours without submission.

Could it finally be time to embrace the solitude and silence of nights sitting behind my laptop in order to pursue my writing dreams? It is after all, typical behaviour and perhaps the makings of a writer…

Calm after the Storm

It was a stormy, turbulent night by the coast. Torrential weeping from a sullen night’s sky, supplemented by the deep roaring sound of thunder created a heavy atmosphere and hazardous conditions for those unfortunate to be outside.

This morning was a completely different story, a brand new day. The sun was attempting to rise in its beautiful, oceanic blue sky, after what had been a violently disruptive night, like a bird trying to fly home after a damaged wing has healed. It was in such contrast to the conditions that presented themselves the night before as I recalled the vigorous roaring that had resounded in stereo throughout my flat just hours earlier. There was the occasional flash piercing the blackness of the night as though a light bulb had just blown. The lightning wrapped itself neatly around the sky for a split second before dispersing rapidly once more into the darkness, from whence it came.

In quiet contemplation my thoughts led me to the kitchen, then to the bedroom, as the setting for my first morning writing as both rooms are north facing, looking out at the endless sea and have the luxury on such a morning, of being embellished by the sun. Unfortunately on what was actually a slightly frosty morning, the idea was abolished because it was a mere corner of the window ledge that has illuminated by the sun’s warm rays.

Looking down out of my window I caught a glimpse of slight frosting on the cars below.
“This is it” I thought, “the first day of winter”. Though it’s only the first day of September it feels like the same thing. For years it seems around this time of the year I sense the switch has been flipped to trigger the season change. Here lies the point of no return. There will inevitably be some fine days, but it is ultimately the start of the cold season. A brief autumn followed by a long cold winter before returning to a fresh springtime that is a considerable amount of time away. It feels endless. While I do love the glistening of snow and the excitement of the Christmas season, the cold doesn’t agree with me at all. It’s no complaint really since I don’t like the cold much either! Why should we get along? I like nice warm sunny days as opposed to wrapping up like the Michelin man on an Antarctic expedition.

For now at least I see blue skies and sunshine…

Kidspeak – Are You Weed as a Pump?

Kids really do say the funniest things don't they? It's so refreshing and exciting to see the creative minds working at young ages and it's easy to see the potential of children to become very intelligent and creative people.

From my childhood I recall vividly that I was incredibly disdainful of bad language. While I was growing up I found myself surrounded by people using violent or foul language. They would use such obscenities habitually and viewed it a necessity to their natural dialogue. Throughout secondary school I inadvertently became renowned for my proper use of language and my 'inability' to swear. My best friend found this so unusual and amusing that he would often try to catch me out. He endured many failed attempts trying to provoke me into dropping my guard and letting a foul word slip out. I never caved. At about aged 16 I started being a little more frivolous with my language and allowed the occasional swear word into my conversation.

This dislike of swearing and cursing has carried forward into my adult life and I still usually refrain from using bad language whenever possible. Even now I often replace words with random alternatives, for example, “Pair o’ socks” said fast enough creates the illusion of its more abusive counterpart. Whilst watching The Man I was quite bemused by the creative method used in attempting to reduce the swearing of Samuel L Jackson’s character in front of his son, in order to set a better example. By adding an additional ending to the ‘F word’ he alternatively shouted “Fu-crying out loud”. Brilliant!

There are a few incidents I recall from growing up when I swore without realising it. Such things happen as a child. I really would go out of my way to not use foul language. I once rephrased my brother's description of his alcoholic state from the commonplace "pissed as a fart". So on a final note, I ask, “have you ever been ‘weed as a pump’". Alas the mind of the child prevails!

World of WoW-this-is-far-too-addictive-craft! Part 2

WoW is so good that it can make you feel like you’re actually good at something, make it seem like you’re achieving something in what may otherwise be a sad, dull and lonely existence.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning you, the reader, I have been, and am, once again right there, on the same long ship, making the trek to the frozen wastes.
In this world you can gear up a character ready to take on anything, there’s professions that you can train to make your own armour, potions, food, ammo etc, there’s eBay, I mean Auction House where you can put up goods for sale at extortionate Buy it Now, Regret it Later prices, and a whole host of other “Real Life” skills and ploys to add to the enthralling make up of this great Azerothian world.

Now I know this is not the case for all WoW gamers and some people manage very successfully to play casually and have a happy, healthy and balanced life where gaming is a hobby. That’s where it ends. These people don’t go to work wondering what spell rotation will give the best dps for tonight’s Ulduar raid, or if buying a new shoulder upgrade will lower some stats and boost others; they can take it or leave it. WoW has been know to destroy marriages and relationships, add to already existing personal and health problems, slump people deeper into depressive moods and detract people further from reality, making it even more difficult to return to Earth relatively unscathed. However it’s also brought people together and forged blossoming relationships between more than just Night Elves and Dwarves. I know what you’re thinking, OMG that’s just plain wrong, and you’d be right, but that’s beside the point.

If there’s a secret to achieving the balance of WoW and real life, then I’d love to hear about it, and the steps needed to achieve it, because I’m genuinely interested.
Gief RL plx! Give me real life, please! I’d take an active, fun, adventurous real life with real people, real worries, real problems and things that really matter any day of the week over a gaming world. Despite its imaginative and creative bubble, WoW is no substitute for me!

Chances are this won’t be the last article I write on this topic, but for now watch this space…and please give me your feedback if you’re a WoW player, or ex-WoW player, or if you’ve broken free from the evil clutches of Azeroth, I’m keen to hear your thoughts.

Until next time…Game On!!

World of WoW-this-is-far-too-addictive-craft! Part 1

Do you have an interest in computer games? Do you have spare time you’d like to fill with something new and exciting? Do you wish you could feel like you’re worth something and that you're making a difference in the world, any world? Do you suffer from depression and possibly out of work, or on the sick from your current job? Do you want to throw away your life and waste away in the abyss of a cyber space fantasy land that is Azeroth? Then look no further, Blizzard Entertainment has just the thing you’re looking for!

World of Warcraft, the most popular MMORPG the world has ever seen and rapidly growing every day, is the home to some great, fantastical and imaginative creatures and adventures the gaming world has even seen but for me personally it’s just becoming too much, far, far, far too much, and it has to stop somewhere, somehow, some time soon.

WoWaholics Anonymous is now open, check in at your own discretion but please leave your pets and minions at the door. I’d love to see that sign somewhere! This game is the most single evil computer game I’ve ever played. In the days of the Super Nintendo, which I may add still has some of the best games of all time, I’ve been hooked on Super Metroid when I must get to the next area and obtain that awesome plasma beam. I’ve been knee deep in the Secret of Mana, but never have I been so addicted to a computer game until I met World of Warcraft. I can’t condemn the game completely as it’s brought me some great friends that have become real life friends (or RL friends as the lingo goes, not to be confused with RL that also means Raid Leader) but the game itself is far too alluring. This is especially true for people that feel something is missing from their lives. For those unfortunate souls and any that may fit any of the above criteria, WoW seems to be the place to hide out. Awesome and quite simply amazing on the surface, an outlet and an escape from it all, it doesn’t let you down and is dependable as long as you pay your subscription, it will always be there for you.

Continued tomorrow...

The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

If there’s one thing history has taught us it’s that the pen is a mighty powerful instrument. This mighty, minor, majestic little implement has signed peace declarations, treaties, laws and much, much more and has truly been responsible for so much of history, a pioneer in the history-making field.

Everyone should have a pen that they’re proud of. It doesn’t have to be an 18 carat gold diamond encrusted monstrosity that makes writing feel like a muscle ripping workout every time you even dare to pick it up, but just something that you call your own. My utensil of choice is a simple yet elegant stainless steel Parker Jotter. I pride myself on it having an “original” top bearing the Parker logo. A couple of years ago I lost my silver Parker while on the train to work. As far as I know, it casually slipped out of my pocket into the abyss, never to be seen again. When I ventured to WHSmith to buy a new one, to my dismay I discovered that the tops of the “new and improved” Parker pens, had changed to a more rounded shape and lost their flat, dipped, ridge style. Later I also found that the colour of the blue ink had changed from a lighter blue to a darker, Bic-esque blue but that’s by-the-by.

After being missing for about 2 months, I had lost all hope of ever seeing my beloved Parker again and had resigned myself to using a regular scribbly pen that I found lying around my flat. Having searched my bags about seven or eight times each, as you do, thinking I MUST have missed something, but of course I’ve checked all of the secret hiding places that don’t exist every time I’ve looked in the bags and found nothing, well I had given up. It was pointless making a big deal about a “mere” pen as I knew that no amount of “Lost” or “Missing Parker” flyers were going to bring it back. That was until I was throwing clothes in the washing machine…cue a pair of pants I hadn’t worn in a good couple of months. Yes, you’ve guessed it…in the right pocket of said pants; there it was, gleaming in all its glory, Mr Parker himself! You can imagine my delight as I withdrew it from the prison of the pants’ pocket. The mighty pen lives on to write another day!

Do you have a favourite pen you take everywhere with you? That you sign your cheques with? That has written out every birthday card you’ve ever sent? If so, let me know! I’m interested to hear whether I’m one of a minority or if I’m not alone in the pen stakes. As far as I know it’s only the British that have interest in such matters, but I might be wrong…

Ads All Folks!

Much to my delight, the old Milky Way advert appeared on my TV screen today!! Well I’m guessing it appeared on a lot of people’s TV screens, or I hope it did because it’s a very strange thing to have visions or illusions about!

As I sung along to “The red car and the blue car had a race…” I thought how fantastic it was to see this classic ad making an appearance once more on the small screen. It’s safe to say they don’t make them like that anymore. I’m a bit of a retrospect or nostalgic or something about the past that describes people like me, so when I saw this classic piece of advertising on TV I was overjoyed.

What sets apart a great advert from a good advert from a terrible advert? I’m not in advertising nor do I claim to know very much about it but as a consumer I know what I like. Chances are I won’t rush out and buy the product anyway, but since we’re constantly spammed with advertising for everything under the sun at every opportunity, they could at least be entertaining or educational or both.

Songs with a catchy tune, or include a sample of a song are particularly good at drawing me in but not something that has me dum di dum dum-ing for the rest of the day and giving me nightmares or some such atrocity because of it becoming irrevocably etched to my brain. I’m happy to say the Milky Way advert does not fit this category.

As great as it would be for all adverts to be fun, light-hearted and or educational, without being boring, annoying or cringe-worthy, without leaving your mouth taste like soap or making you want to gouge your eyes out with whatever product is being drilled into your brain, then let’s face it, you stand a better chance of winning the lottery. If you already won the lottery, well congratulations and then I’d say the odds of my idea are slimmer than you winning the lottery AGAIN. If you’ve won the lottery twice, then you probably have enough money to have one of those fantastical magical TV sets that automatically removes adverts or a servant superbly well trained in the art of changing the channel at the perfect moment.

Until then I’ll settle for muting and changing the channel for the boring ads and will keep singing along to the tuneful ones with hungry cars and comical lyrics.

I may write more on this in the future so watch this space.

First Thoughts are the Deepest

Hello everyone and anyone that might have stumbled upon this. This is my first ever attempt at blogging so a quick intro. Here goes…

My name is Andrew, I'm 26 years old and enjoy travelling, cycling, writing, music, movies, and love seeing new places and trying new things.
Ok enough of that...anything else and you can ask me yourself!

My blogs will probably be anything from diary-type entries, to topical posts to random rambles of gibberish proportions but like it or loathe it it's my blog.

Today is the first step to my long and illustrious writing career I hope. After countless efforts of writing short posts in my own hand-typing but never actually posting anything I've decided to throw my ideas and thoughts out to the big wide world. Today blogspot...tomorrow the WORLD...or maybe another blogspot entry, then...well ok I'm already getting carried away Pinky and the Brain style. I love that cartoon...anyone that doesn;t like old cartoons is just not right in the head, imo. The theme songs are so funny for some of them...and have you ever heard Ducktales or Darkwing Duck in Dutch or German, it's awesome!! :) Also a quite unorthodox way of helping to learn a language, but I find it fun while practising learnng Dutch.

Until next time...