Asthmatic Scooter

I was walking down the road the other day when I heard something chugging along. Naturally I looked up, only to see the inevitable, a small snail mobile hurtling towards me at what seemed like an astounding 5 miles per hour. Bloody scooter! Why do they have to make so much noise? They sound as though they're fitted with an asthmatic engine *pant*. If I was riding one of those things I'd be worried in case it had an asthma attack.

I have mild asthma myself and when I was a kid I had a few asthma attacks, anyone that has had a similar experience of children with asthma will know it's not a pleasant experience. If I was on one of those breathing-impaired contraptions I'd be panicking who was going to conk out first me or the scooter. I'd be riding along trying to reassure it, everything's OK, deep breaths come on now, in, o-u-t, in, o-u-t, that's it, keep going, keep going, you're doing great!

Perish the thought of riding up a steep hill! Come on old girl you can do it, just keep moving, don't forget to breathe. BREATHE DAMNIT! Come on you can do it, only 2 more wheel rotations left, that's about 2 more hours but it's ok, just DON'T LOOK BACK! Of course that would be only half the battle and if by some miracle we made it to the to top we would both be lying by the side of the road coughing our insides out trying to inhale some fresh air and recover from the trauma.

You know how cars nowadays come with all those gadgets and accessories that are fitted "as standard"? Well scooters should come with Ventolin inhaler on a repeat prescription as standard and a warning sign of "Caution, scooter might break down on slightest incline" embedded on it's frame.