Kidspeak – Are You Weed as a Pump?

Kids really do say the funniest things don't they? It's so refreshing and exciting to see the creative minds working at young ages and it's easy to see the potential of children to become very intelligent and creative people.

From my childhood I recall vividly that I was incredibly disdainful of bad language. While I was growing up I found myself surrounded by people using violent or foul language. They would use such obscenities habitually and viewed it a necessity to their natural dialogue. Throughout secondary school I inadvertently became renowned for my proper use of language and my 'inability' to swear. My best friend found this so unusual and amusing that he would often try to catch me out. He endured many failed attempts trying to provoke me into dropping my guard and letting a foul word slip out. I never caved. At about aged 16 I started being a little more frivolous with my language and allowed the occasional swear word into my conversation.

This dislike of swearing and cursing has carried forward into my adult life and I still usually refrain from using bad language whenever possible. Even now I often replace words with random alternatives, for example, “Pair o’ socks” said fast enough creates the illusion of its more abusive counterpart. Whilst watching The Man I was quite bemused by the creative method used in attempting to reduce the swearing of Samuel L Jackson’s character in front of his son, in order to set a better example. By adding an additional ending to the ‘F word’ he alternatively shouted “Fu-crying out loud”. Brilliant!

There are a few incidents I recall from growing up when I swore without realising it. Such things happen as a child. I really would go out of my way to not use foul language. I once rephrased my brother's description of his alcoholic state from the commonplace "pissed as a fart". So on a final note, I ask, “have you ever been ‘weed as a pump’". Alas the mind of the child prevails!